I’m Not Crying Because I’m Sad!

Right after I had my baby girl (her nickname is Peeps, which I’ll be calling her on this post) almost 2 years ago, I remember my husband wheeling me out of the hospital when all of a sudden…the tears started flowing and I could NOT STOP. I cried on the whole drive home. I cried once we got home and I decided it was time to take a shower (it had been awhile), and then I cried probably about four more times after that. And this was all in one day! It was such a weird feeling, because I felt so happy about Peeps’ arrival, and I was so excited in the hospital to have her here, but as soon as we left – BAM! Crying machine.

This went on for about three or so weeks (it might have been closer to a month, but I think I’ve tried to block some of that out)! Like clockwork, I would always cry at dinnertime, and several more times throughout the day. My husband would console me and didn’t make me feel like I was crazy at all – which is a good thing, because I definitely felt crazy! He did ask me if I was feeling sad, but the strange thing is I wasn’t sad, I was just….emotional?

I had heard about the Baby Blues before and of course did some non-helpful Google research, but the most irritating thing about the situation was that when I consulted my mama friends, only one seemed to know what I was talking about. She warned me about it before I gave birth, so I knew the Baby Blues were a real thing, but I was feeling a little concerned that barely anyone else went through this experience (or if they did, they weren’t talking about it).

I really can’t tell you the reasons why I cried so much – I know I wasn’t feeling particularly sad, but something was definitely off. I knew I had a lot of hormone junk going on, so I figured that was the problem, but it bothered me so much that I was not in control of my own tears. I remember crying about the strangest things, including one night when I freaked out that Peeps was “growing up too fast” (she was 11 days old at the time), and another time I sobbed because I didn’t know what we were going to eat for dinner.

Luckily, these tears did not last forever…but they came back again – when I got pregnant for the second time! I don’t ever recall the tears flowing very often during my first pregnancy (there were a few times here and there, but nothing major), but this time around – crying machine AGAIN! It was super bad for about the first trimester and a half, and then it tapered off a little, and now that I’m about five weeks away from my due date, the tears are back again!

Just so you can see how ridiculous this is getting, here are some examples of what has made me cry during this pregnancy:

  • The song “Sara” by Fleetwood Mac
  • The “emotional” parts that are always at the end of an episode of Full House (don’t ask why I’ve even been watching that show in the first place)
  • When Peeps says, “Hi Mommy!” in her cute little voice
  • Pretty much every time I drop her off before I head to work
  • When I feel worried about not getting to spend as much time with Peeps when the baby comes (which is a legit thing to cry about, I suppose)
  • When I feel like my dog isn’t getting enough attention
  • When I think about how Peeps is going to be turning two soon (this really makes me fall apart…I just can’t believe time went by so fast)

Since I’ve been what I consider to be an emotional wreck during this pregnancy, I’m hoping this means that it won’t be so bad once I give birth, right? This is probably wishful thinking, but I don’t know how it’s possible that I’ll have enough of a supply of tears to handle my roller coaster of emotions!

I wanted to write this post not so that I can let the whole world know that I’m a big sobby mess, so maybe someone else will read this and think, “OK I’m not crazy!” It is a bit upsetting when you feel like you’re the only one out there who feels this way, but I can assure you that you’re not alone, and that it does go away!

If you feel like the Baby Blues have been going on for too long and you’re not sure how to handle it, it’s probably time to talk to a doctor. There is definitely not anything wrong with that. It’s better to get things sorted out, feel better, and be able to take care of your kid(s), because welcoming a new baby into the world is definitely not an easy task by any means!

Guest Mama Jill lives in the St. Louis area, and is a mother to an almost 2-year-old human daughter, a 3-year-old furry daughter, and a soon-to-be-born son. She is a copywriter at an advertising agency and enjoys “keeping the juices flowing” by writing on her blog, thepregnantweirdo.tumblr.com in her spare time. She could not function without cheese, attracts mosquitos within a 1/2 mile radius, and thinks anything under 80 degrees is “cold.”

One Response to I’m Not Crying Because I’m Sad!

  1. Aww, thanks for sharing this. I actually had fun reading it! I’m 30 weeks pregnant with my first, so I don’t know what kind of machine I’ll be after he’s born. But I’ve definitely been extra-weepy through this pregnancy, almost the whole time. I understand the frustration because I cried at inappropriate times even before I got pregnant. The arts would get me in particular, even if they weren’t sad — one that stands out was a hip-hop dance show! Now I’ll catch my voice cracking when I’m about to open my mouth, and just shake me head. If I’m with someone I’m not close to, I just shrug and say “sorry, I’m hormonal.” Haha. Maybe I will try writing down what makes me cry, like you have. I try to embrace my sensitivity when I can… even though our culture doesn’t value this quality very much, it DOES have its place! <3

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