The Mama Files

Things I thought I would never do when I was a mom: The Mama Files

  • Buy “fat” pants. Yes.I.Did.
  • Use baby layette hangers to dry my bras. They make cute little bra trees. You should try it.

  • Wear a plain tank top around shopping for the day. I got baby poop/puke on my main shirt. This is all I have, you should be grateful you don’t have to see more of my body.
  • Let my hair go. I know my hair is out of control with crazy waves and frizz. I put my two kids to bed on my own every night and by the time I have “me time” it looks like this. If you have any miracle product I should use please tell me, otherwise I don’t care. I know what it looks like, and I know it needs help. P.S. I appreciate those of you who notice my bad hair day in the office and tell me how nice it looks and you can tell I went all natural.
  • Decide which kid you will look for/find at a family function. Unfortunately one may have to be sacrificed for the other. You only have two hands, right?
  • Pee on the side of the road with your car door open to hide you. I had to go to the bathroom RIGHT.THEN. Both kids were crying and I was only an hour into the three hour road trip that was going r e a l l y s l o w l y, due to the baby crying the whole way and numerous pit-stops on overpasses. I couldn’t hold it anymore! I apologize to anyone who saw my booty. I also thank the person who invented baby wipes. They are just as nice on grown-up bums.
  • Hire a house cleaner. Before I had little C, I had it all set up with a local lady who cleans houses to dust once a month and if later, I decided I need more help, she will increase her cleaning as needed. However, that fell through and I’m still looking for someone to help me clean my house. Until then, this puppy will have to get the job done.

Stay tuned for a sweeter version, of The Baby Files.

“I’ll never do this when I’m a mama…” What were some of yours? Post in the comments!

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