Ask The Mamas: Second Baby Shower

Each week we will ask our mamas a question from our readers that pertains to babies, toddlers, or parenting. Make sure to check back each Tuesday to see their responses!

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MSW reader Jacklyn asks:

“I’m pregnant with my second baby. Some of my friends and family say that having a second shower is tacky, while others say that it’s a great idea and every baby should be celebrated. What did the mamas do?”

  • Personally, I think it’s tacky. Yes, every baby should be celebrated, but with two babies that are close in age, a shower isn’t necessary. Hopefully you saved all of the “gear” and there shouldn’t really be anything left to buy. Those that want to shower you with diapers and clothes will do so, even without a shower. But that’s just me! ~Mary Ellen M.
  • I personally don’t know of anyone that has had a second baby shower. I think the friends/family that want to give you, or the new baby you are planning for, a gift will do so without a shower. I wouldn’t plan a second baby shower unless it’s common among your social circle. ~Vanessa B.
  • I personally think every baby and every pregnancy should be celebrated. Try having a “sprinkle” instead of a shower, where you play baby shower-type games and eat baby shower-type food. Make it clear to guests that, while they can choose to bring a gift for the baby, it isn’t expected. Or, you can throw a “diaper party” instead and have everyone bring a pack of diapers or something else that is always needed. ~Cassie W. 
  • Among my family and friends, we have a shower for every baby because I feel that the mama deserves a celebration for every life she brings into this world. For us, the showers aren’t about showering the mama with gifts, but about showering her with love and support and an opportunity to hang out with the women who are important in her life. For a first-time-mama, yes, getting gifts to prepare her for motherhood is important. For a second (or third…) baby I think it’s equally important to make sure the mama has everything she really needs… now that she knows what’s really important baby-gear wise. We don’t do big gifts, but if her new baby will be born in a season opposite of when her first child was born, then some weather-appropriate clothing would be nice. Of if she’s having a girl when her first was a boy. Even just getting her started with some diapers and basic toiletries is fun. If I am able to be pregnant again, I hope that my mom and sister will throw a shower for me just for the opportunity to have a party while I’m still pregnant and not a sleep deprived zombie. I won’t be registering for anything and I will likely request that no gifts be given. ~Alex. T

  • I don’t think its tacky, but I definitely don’t think it is necessary. If my second child is the same sex as my first child I wouldn’t want a shower. I do wish I would have registered for more neutral things (not just the big items) for my first so I felt more prepared if my second child was the opposite sex.  ~Christy A.

  • I’m also pregnant with my second child, and a majority of my friends have had showers for their second child, but I personally don’t feel that it was necessary for myself. I am having a boy this time around, but we stayed pretty neutral when registering during our first pregnancy and don’t really need much else since it’s all still in great condition. Although I do believe that all babies should be celebrated, I’d think there would be other ways to do so. ~Sam A.
  • Where I’m from, it’s not the norm. I don’t plan on having a second shower, and I have never been to a shower for someone’s second baby. I wouldn’t call it “tacky”, but I think a lot of people would say it’s unnecessary when you would already have a lot of the items you need from your first baby. It’s really based on personal preference. If you want another shower, have one! ~Kathy S. 
  • I only have one child, but if I did have another I would hope someone would have a shower for me. Even if it was just for diapers or onesies (both of which I have been to and had a blast). It’s something fun for my loved ones to get together and be excited for my new baby. I don’t think it’s tacky at all and don’t understand where that mindset comes from. ~Debbie F. 

 

The advice given here is solely based on our individual experiences and in no way is it going to be perfect for every mama, every baby, and every situation. None of us are medical doctors. If you have a question regarding a medical topic we can give our opinions, but please consult with your doctor. We are not liable or responsible for the results of following any specific advice in any given situation.

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