First Trimester with a Toddler in Tow

“Mommy, don’t throw up.”

That’s what my two-year-old has been reminding me, periodically, since I had the misfortune to get sick in front of her a few weeks ago. Yes, I said a few weeks ago. Apparently it was that traumatic.

The first trimester of pregnancy usually sucks, any way you look at it. But the first trimester with a two-year-old to take care of… well, it isn’t for the faint of heart.

Image by Tatiana Vdb under Creative Commons License

When my husband and I started trying for a second baby, it had only been a couple of years since I had been pregnant. I thought I remembered the drill. I knew I’d be tired and feel less-than-great for a couple of months, but I thought I was ready for it.

Then reality hit.

That icky, just-not-quite-feeling-like-myself malaise set in and I immediately remembered. Yeah, I might have been looking back through my rose-colored glasses.

I was only about seven weeks pregnant when the serious nausea started. It was terrible. It had been one thing when I was pregnant with my daughter — I was on a leave of absence from my job, so I didn’t have many responsibilities to take care of over the course of the day. We still had a cleaning service, for goodness sake. And, most importantly, I didn’t have a very active, very demanding two-year-old to care for.

Maybe that’s one reason it has been so difficult this time — I just can’t rest and take it easy like I did last time. I’ve had to resort to Zofran on really bad days to control my nausea (there was a period of a few days where I couldn’t keep anything down, so I figured it was time). At 14 weeks, I am starting to have more good days, but I still feel like crap a lot of the time. I’m hoping there’s a light at the end of the tunnel… somewhere.

Image by Amanda Lindsay Photography under Creative Commons License

This is not easy stuff. Fortunately, I have many good friends and family nearby who have offered to come through in a pinch if I just need a break. And I have a husband who, when I called him practically in tears on one particularly terrible afternoon, rushed home from work so I could get a little rest.

And, of course, there will be a delightful, squishy baby at the end of all of this madness. (Yes, I may also be using my rose-colored glasses in looking back on the newborn stage, too.) I’ll get to see my daughter as a big sister, which I’m sure will be a magical thing. But man, did I forget how hard this stuff can be.

13 Responses to First Trimester with a Toddler in Tow

  1. I love this. The nausea is something I fear so much whenever #2 becomes a reality. I had it 24/7 with N and I still remember how bad it felt. Hang in there mama!

  2. This is awesome. I’m so not looking forward to this if I can get pregnant again. It was really rough the first time around, and I was working a desk job then, not taking care of another kid too. I can already imagine the questions from my son.

  3. I feel you on the rose-colored glasses…I’m fully aware that I’m submerged in some kind of weird fog of selective memory-loss right now. But I’m okay with it. Without that ability to only remember the good parts, would anyone have more than one?

  4. Oh, morning sickness (24/7 in my case)….It is the absolute worst!! I was also a Zofran popping mama-to-be, so I’m super nervous to be that sick again and have a little one too.

  5. I’m about 24 weeks into pregnancy #2. I can’t seem to get my energy levels back, but I also don’t take my pre-natal vitamins regularly (just can’t stomach them some days), and my daughter (2.5yo) is getting pretty tired of staying at home. Like with pregnancy #1, I can’t spend a ton of time in the sun, and around 20 wks (again), I started getting what, according to my doctor, is pain from stretching ligaments along the bottom of my blooming belly when I walk, sometimes just even to the back of the yard.

    That hardest part for me, besides the energy levels, has been that my daughter’s favorite method of cuddling is still nursing, and that has become horribly painful. I think my husband thinks I’m exaggerating when I squeal/whine/grimace, but I’m earnestly trying to point kidlet toward weaning, or at least cut it back to twice a day. And to get her to fall asleep without “boobing,” which my husband (who is wonderful in most other regards) has always encouraged her/us to do, despite my arguments to the contrary, and by the time bedtime rolls around, who had the energy to lie there and try to comfort a thoroughly unhappy little girl? (Ha! Now that I have less energy, I manage to find it, because i know it’s going to be that much worse when Critter Too arrives if she doesn’t figure out how to fall asleep now.)

    I know I felt better with pregnancy #1, but I do think a lot of this pregnancy being harder has to do with chasing a toddler than it actually being worse, symptom-wise. (At least I didn’t lose 25 lb. in the first trimester this time.)

    • Hi Jena,

      I hear nursing #1 while pregnant with #2 can be difficult. Here is another great article about breastfeeding while pregnant. Hopefully it helps.

    • Jena it gets better! I promise! I feel your pain so much while reading your comment. It’s frustrating, I know. And otherwise supportive husbands just don’t get it. :( Nursing while pregnant does hurt, but your body will get used to it and if you continue throughout the pregnancy, it’ll be so lovely to tandem nurse. It’s been such an awesome experience for me and for my almost-two-year-old. You’re doing a great job, mama.

  6. Thanks for sharing and your honesty. We’re TTC #2 and have a 20 month old, so a good dose of healthy reality is probably good for me =)

  7. I loves my first trimester with my toddler I slept all the time with her

  8. Jennifer Crewell Reply

    This is exactly how it went for me with number two and now the hubs is talking about going for number three and I am a little terrified lol

  9. thank you so much for sharing! im so so hoping to get past this nausea soon! my 14mo lo does not get whats going on! :) thankfully my husband has been more than helpful!!

  10. We’re trying for our second, so this is a great article for me to get a what’s to come perspective!

  11. Been dealing with nausea when I eat dinner at night, of which my little man sits on my lap. I gag then he thinks he needs to gag because mama did. Toddlers.

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