Team Green: What’s the Big Deal?

I knew before I even had plans to have a baby, that when I did get pregnant, we would not find out the sex of our little one. One of the first conversations I had with my husband when we found out I had a little bean growing inside my belly was that we would be keeping our baby’s gender a surprise.

It wasn’t even a question for us, we both wanted to wait until our little one was born to know whether or not we were having a little boy or girl!

Many other “team green” moms will agree with me when I say that the most common responses that you get when you tell people you don’t know and won’t be finding out the sex are: “Good for you! There are too few surprises in life!” or “There is no way I couldn’t find out, I am too much of a planner”.

Sure there are few surprises left in life, but that certainly wasn’t the determining factor in why we chose to be team green. It always felt right to me to not know the sex of our baby.

I always felt growing up that I was ostracized from many of the events my boy cousins were able to participate in- like fishing with Grampa on his boat because I was a girl and no females were allowed to go on Grampa’s boat.

I don’t want my children to ever feel that they have to fit into the mold that society has determined is normal or what is appropriate for a girl or for a boy. As silly as it may sound, I didn’t want my unborn baby to be judged because of her sex, before she even had a chance to show us who she was.

Don’t get me wrong, I will put my daughter in a frilly pink dress and buy an outfit because I think it is cute. But, I will just as easily put her in my nephew’s hand-me-downs as well.

For the planners out there who don’t think they can wait 40 weeks, if you conceived 30 or more years ago, you wouldn’t even have had the option to find out. So, it is possible you could go your whole pregnancy without finding out. People have been going without that knowledge for thousands and thousands of years. 

Maybe 30 years from now women who “couldn’t possibly not find out” might look back and wish that that they had kept it a surprise. I think it says a lot about our culture. We are a “need to have it now” kind of generation. To me it seems unlikely that those parents who didn’t find out the sex of their baby while pregnant will look back and wish that they had found out.

Choosing to be team green isn’t just about surprises, it also has some pretty awesome perks! I loved having a baby pool for everyone to guess if we were having a boy or girl. I loved being able to call my family and friends and to tell them that we welcomed a beautiful baby girl, Annabelle Riley, into the world! No one knew our name choices either, so it truly was a surprise for all of my family and friends and I was elated to be able to share it with them.

On a more practical note, I found that being team green really helped me out at my baby shower. I received most of the items I registered for and hardly any clothes. The clothes I did get were pretty gender neutral, which will be awesome for future pregnancies! After Anna was born, I received so many clothes. I hardly had to buy anything until she was almost a year old. 

I definitely encourage newly pregnant mamas to consider being team green. I had heard some mamas say that once they made the decision to be team green, it really wasn’t as hard as they thought it would be. For me, it truly was an amazing experience at my birth to see my husband’s eyes light up as our daughter was placed on my chest and looked and found out we had a baby girl. To hear the joy in his voice when he shouted out, “It’s a girl, we have a baby girl!” It is one of the memories that I cherish and I will carry it with me always.



3 Responses to Team Green: What’s the Big Deal?

  1. Aw…very nice article. We found out the gender of both our babies around 20 weeks, but a small piece of me wishes that we had waited to find out. I’d imagine hearing “it’s a boy” or “it’s a girl” after going through labor and delivery would be the icing on the cake!

  2. So sweet- I love your story Jessica! We were Team Green for our 2nd baby. It was really a lot easier than I thought not knowing the gender during the pregnancy. It kept the excitement up! It was fun, too, because we both thought it would be a girl. After I had the baby, I was holding him in my arms and DH and I both looked down between his legs and said “boy!” at the same time. It was a huge surprise. :)

  3. Love this! I’ve always thought if I had a second baby I would be “team green” for exactly the reasons you stated. I Felt like too much importance was put on my Baby’s gender before he arrived just because that’s all we knew about him so far. When he was actually born and I realized the gender was so insigifant when it came to Getting to know and loving this new human being, I realized next time I would wait to meet my baby as a whole person.

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