The Plight of Taking a Shower: Mama Edition

When you have a toddler and need to shower while they are awake with no other adult to keep an eye on them, your internal dialogue might sound something like mine:

“Ok. She has a sippy of water and a snack that she most likely won’t choke on. Bedroom door is locked so she can’t escape… but she did just have a growth spurt. Shoot. Ok, I’ll pull a chair in front of the door.

“…and The Little Einsteins is on. GO!! (at this point I have 23 minutes and 50 seconds to shower, which is a joke because we all know how long the attention span of a toddler is. But I like to dream).

“ahhh…nice hot water. Can I see her? Did she get off the bed? Oh, ok there she is… crap, she’s feeding the dog her crackers. Ok, I need to hurry up.

“Shampoo is rinsed, body is clean, do I have time to use conditioner? It’s been like four days and my mommy messy bun is causing serious havoc. She seems content and isn’t screaming…I’ll go for it.

“Man, I love this face wash. It smells like oranges and vanilla… what’s that noise?! I have soap on my face and can’t look… ahhhh!!! Great, she’s bored of her show and is in the bathroom trying to force-feed the dog his food. Why can’t they just leave each other alone for 30 seconds??

“Ok, I think she’s watching TV again. How do the Amish bathe when they have kids? So glad we decided to get Apple TV. I should probably shave my legs… I wish it were legging season already. Shoot, no time. Armpits only, she’s back in the bathroom and knocking on the shower door.

“Ugh, the conditioner. Why does it take so long to rinse out?? Must hurry…she’s found the toilet paper holder…well, there goes half a roll. How does she unroll it so fast?! If I reroll it I wonder if hubby will still use it? Probably not…I wouldn’t either.

“Ok, and DONE!!”

Now that I’ve shared my inner most mommy-thoughts, it’s time to be honest: what are yours?

One Response to The Plight of Taking a Shower: Mama Edition

  1. I love the face wash thought! It is so true! Here are mine:
    “I hope she plays with her toys instead of pulling everything of mine off the side table.”
    “Whatever she does, she better not put anything from the trash can into her mouth. That is yucky, oh I’m talking toddler talk to myself, I mean gross. I better look to see if I remembered to move it.”

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